A Gentleman’s view.

The Tiger Woods infomercial apology tour reveals nothing new but anger.

This column is mostly about politics and leadership or the lack thereof when it comes to how things are run or not in this country. Leadership is not a requirement exclusively needed to be a good politician, but an understanding of it is required being a good role model. That Tiger Woods is a role model whether or not it was appreciated by him or not was clearly stated in the advertising campaign: “I am Tiger Woods” The intent of this campaign besides removing any stigma of a black man as a role model in the mostly Caucasian dominated game of golf, was to say that Tiger Woods was not only a damn good golfer, but he was also as squeaky clean as the game was perceived to be by its elitist nature. I held off from writing this column because I wanted to hear from the man himself with his take on the adventure that has taken place in his life to bring him to the fall from grace he inflicted upon himself and his family. Since that occasion he has become the target of countless jokes and rumors, and justified or not, he did nothing to dispel them with his silence. Now that he has spoken in public for the first time since that fateful night, I am afraid my perception of him as a person I would want my son to emulate has not improved.

First of all, this was a template format 12-step speech of recovery programs designed to give the impression to the required parties that one has recognized that he/she has problems, owning those problems and is working hard to fix them. Second, such a speech by this prominent man of athletic skills had to be written or typed for him to read. It had the required pauses for emotional effect, mentioned few of the people having been impacted by his actions and a vow to change his behavior. He invited a small party of about a dozen or so people who really looked pained to be there, including his mother. It did not include a question and answer session when it was over. His rationale for his behavior was he had worked oh so hard all of his life to get where he was as a sports star and felt with all the fame and fortune he amassed, was entitled to the excesses of his world. He said he felt the rules that applied to any normal family man with a wife and two children did not apply to him so he could take advantage of the temptations of his celebrity position. He stated that it was wrong of the press to hound him, expect an explanation of what happened that dreadful evening of the car crash. It was wrong to want some public airing of his dirty laundry to please the paparazzi and expose the state of his marriage. All of this was already known prior to giving this speech, so what was the purpose?

He stated that this press conference sans press was held to let those close to him know that he was oh so truly sorry he committed those transgressions.  The pundits more famous than myself gave him mixed reviews, some thought he accomplished what he set out to do, and some didn’t. My take was one of disappointment as I hoped that he was really impacted by the hurt he caused so many that he requested at the end of this session to believe in him again. Therein lies the rub. I don’t know of many people who believed in Tiger Woods to begin with as he never represented a cause or movement or took up any societal issues of note. He may have to answer the belief issue with Jesper Parnevik a fellow golfer responsible for connecting Tiger with his wife, as she was Parneviks wife’s best friend. Even he turned a blind eye to the foul language and poor sportsmanship displayed by Tiger on the golf course when things went bad for him.  I don’t think that his mother lost any belief in her son as she had to have some idea of his flaws growing up and did nothing to help him grow beyond them as she let his father run the show. The people involved in his foundation were accomplishing its goal of working with the kids they helped, so they may need some belief support. But for those of us out here just watching, we didn’t really believe anything about him but his ability to play golf.

Let’s cover what he missed in his speech. First, I saw no sincere emotion from him at all during this speech with the exception of anger at the press.  Second, this speech was written, no press was allowed in to even listen to him much less not to have an exchange about the incidents that had taken place to let the world know he and his family had issues. While he mentioned the tournament taking place that day and the fact he didn’t know when he would be returning to the game himself, he never mentioned the impact of his actions on the sport or the financial impact on his sponsors. I never once heard him say how much he truly appreciated a how deeply he hurt his wife, how sorry he was that he caused her that kind of pain, or how much he really loved her or the kids.  He also failed to mention the damage he inflicted on all the parents aspiring their kids to be like him and the kids who believed in his “I am Tiger Woods” series of commercials.  But, that’s just me.

The game of golf just wants this ugly experience to go away and not negatively impact long-term the viability of the game to make the industry and the player’s money.  They just want him to get his ass back on the course, win tournaments and bring back the ratings and the money.  They are not interested in saving that Tiger as they are about saving their bottom lines. This is the tact that would have impressed me; “ I, Tiger Woods am leaving the game of golf behind me for life and I don’t trust myself out there on the road for I spent to much time out there doing what I wanted when I wanted without consideration for anyone”. “Elin, I have hurt you so badly and want you to know I realized that and I never want to do that to you or the kids again because I love you so much this is the most I can do to prove it”.  By this time whether or not she was in that room, I would have been standing there with tears streaming down my cheeks for empathizing with the pain she must have experienced when she found out what I had been up to out on tour as a slut not golf pro.  No matter, which way my speech went, I certainly knew what I did was wrong, why it caused others pain, and definitely would not need to read from some prepared script. But, as usual with Tiger Woods, it is all about controlling his image as the king of golf. It should be about becoming the type of man his wife and family could just respect again.

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