Why I quitarod, and I don’t care.
She quit and don’t know why.
10. She’s fulfilling a lifelong desire to travel the globe, hoping to visit all three continents by the end of 2009.
9. In a continued effort to make her Katie Couric interview seem better
than it was, Sarah will be launching All of ‘Em Magazine.
8. She and 2012 running mate Carrie Prejean have entered an intense two-year program to learn how to answer interview questions in a manner not considered “horrible.”
7. To combat Jon Stewart’s popularity, she will be hosting a humorous current events talk show on Fox News called The Paley Show.
6. She’s just doing her small part to make Barack Obama look bad by increasing the unemployment rate.
5. She has joined the cast of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Alaska.
4. She’s starting her own lipstick company called Pitbulline.
3. Details are unclear, but she bought a helicopter and a rifle just after she started referring to former son-in-law Levi as “The Wolf.”
2. She stands to make millions doing appearances posing as Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin.
And, the number one possible reason why Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska…
1. She’s been cast in yet another remake of the Raquel Welch classic One Million Years BC. The former governor hopes her appearance will help promote two theories: that humans and dinosaurs co-existed and that Sarah Palin looks damn good in a caveman bikini. (Stephen Baldwin will co-star as a young John McCain)
This is a reprint of property of David Letterman’s show.
© 2009, agentleman.
